Amy Shelton became a business owner called, Auto Amy, after getting divorced. Her story is unique and she shares her business model for free for anyone interested.
Nora:
I am so excited to introduce you to our guest today who has been an entrepreneur for six and a half years. She works with the local homeless nonprofit group, very empathetic toward the needs of her community. She lead a team of a dozen ten year old girls to the number 1 cheerleading squad in the State with her daughter, which is fabulous. Her daughter was the assistant coach and she still hears from these girls mothers after all these years of the impact that it made on their daughters life giving them confidence. She has three adult children, two precious grandchildren. Her sons are major influencers as I understand, and they are with a major shoe company. The shoe company is sponsoring them. She is the sponsor of the largest BNI group in AZ that reached the Hall of Fame. BNI stands for Business Network International. It is a wonderful business networking group that you can look into. She is a master graduate and ambassador of personal and professional self-development. Welcome Amy Shelton to our show! We are excited to hear your story.
Amy and I had recorded another time but unfortunately my card was not pushed far enough in so I’m excited to re-record this because Amy is just amazing and there was something that I think is important that I want her to share that we weren’t able to include last time. Amy, can you start with your life and go back a little bit about how you grew up, background, family background……It’s always good to know what shaped you then how you ended up in a very difficult place financially. What you did to get yourself out of that.
Amy:
I was raised outside of Washington, DC in a suburb. Metropolitan Washington DC, Maryland is a really big area. About 12 miles from downtown DC proper is Fairfax, VA. That’s where I was raised. My mother was a registered nurse and my father had been a soldier. After he retired, he became a civil servant and worked in the Pentagon and local military bases in the area. That’s where I met my going to be husband. We went to elementary school, middle school, high school and college together. He is the father of our three children, and we have two grandchildren together. We went to college where we knew he was going to be a soldier. Even though I had already started working, I started working the day I turned 14. I was raised by hard workers, and it was really instilled in me to be giving and to work. You couldn’t expect things to be given to you. You could give to others then things will show up in your life that will always work out for you.
I did have an early influence that mattered a lot and that was a gentleman that coached me in gymnastics. What happened was that when I was nine, he saw something in me, I don’t know what it was but maybe leadership qualities that I was coachable but that I liked to turn to others and help and encourage them. I wasn’t talented. I actually have a rare genetic disease that inhibited my ability to ever be like an Olympic gymnast, but he didn’t care about any of that. He cared that I was good at what I did but better was that I turned to others around me and made them better. I’d whisper, “point your toe!”, or I’d say “squeeze your ears!” so he said I’m going to train you to be a coach and that’s how it was lined up so that on the day of my 14th birthday I already had a job. I had to go get a work permit, but I had already had to have the school sign off that my grades were good and that my behavior was good, my attendance was good. My mom and dad had to sign it and the State of Virginia had to grant permission. They control the hours and days for child labor law purposes. We followed that process then on the day I turned 14 I had a Social Security card. Now that’s pretty standard but back then 14 year old’s didn’t have a Social Security card so I had to go through this process because it was important to me and he had told me since I was nine ….. this is what we’re going to do. The day I turned 14, I started coaching other children.
We moved around in the military, but it didn’t really matter where we moved, I always had a skill that I could do. It wasn’t that I was so skilled, I have gymnast’s around America that are way more skilled than me but they got that way because of my ability to watch them and give them correction, feedback for improvement in a way that they could take it and then they could implement it and be better. My greatest pride was never my ability it was the abilities that I was able to instill in other people. I was really grateful that I had that because moving in the military is very challenging. If they know you’re not going to be there long they won’t give you a job. Their attitude is you could be here six months to two years max so it’s very hard to have a career and be an Army wife. I was glad that I had that and that was able to go with me right up until I came here to Arizona. My daughter and I (she was my assistant) and we helped those little girls some of whom were not athletes, had no flexibility, no gymnastics background, no cheer background but the point of all of that is that doesn’t matter. Much like with me at nine when I was not that skilled and I really wasn’t that talented, that’s really not what it’s all about. It’s about potential and having someone see potential in you and be willing to take the time and use their energy to bring it out. That’s what the moms and the girls reach out to me and say to me….they remember that and they think that their daughter is who she is because of that experience. Of course the experience of athletics is showing up, having a good attitude, being prepared, hard work, teamwork, not letting your team down. If your grades aren’t where they need to be, I’m not going to let you come on the field. Now what are we going to do? You just ruined everything for everybody so they wouldn’t do that. They also knew that when they did slip a little, the mom would call me and we would make them come to the field with their work and sit and do it while the team was stretching so there was this assignment that they had forgotten and the teacher had sent a bad note, the moms weren’t going to let them off the hook. The moms bought in and they’re like nope! That’s not how this works. The girls come and there was probably a little bit …… embarrassment maybe shame that they had let us down but then they were motivated because they saw us there
And then they would get it done then they could come. They didn’t like that feeling so they didn’t do it again if they did it all.
Nora:
You were very patient with them and I love how impacting adults can be with kids.
Amy:
They have the capacity to be in both good and bad ways.
Nora:
Let’s go back …… I didn’t know that your husband was your childhood sweetheart and sadly that ended up in divorce. What happened at that point?
Amy:
I panicked because I didn’t have my college degree. I had interrupted my Nursing school to follow him and his career around which was important, and I knew that because when we were in college, ROTC, they are prepping you for this career. There are a lot of assignments like Iran, the FRG which is the Family Readiness Group. While he was deployed, he might take al the men that are soldiers but I have the women and their children and whatever comes with that . If they get told we have to go, they’ll be gone in 30 minutes and then I have to deal with the after math. “My husband took the car to the field and he took the automatic car and left me the manual car but I can’t drive manual”. Guess who has to go teach someone how to drive a manual transmission because that was my responsibility.
Nora:
So really the things we do in life that we don’t realize are important now when women find themselves in financial hardship we often don’t think of what we’ve done in our lives that can help us now. Even going back years ago which I didn’t think about myself until I started writing down what I have done, how did that help, how did that change people and change me so fast forward to when you’re divorced and all that you’ve done which has brought you to that day and you panicked and now what were you thinking next?
Amy:
Well, I was thinking how am I going to take care of myself and my children. My first thought was I should have seen all of this coming, but I didn’t. When I agreed to marry someone that was going to have this career and I set my career to the side, I thought oh shoot I did this to myself. Ok but it is what it is. I did those things and I did them for the right reasons at the time I did them but like you just said, I had to make a list of what do I want to do? What am I good at? What resources do I have? My favorite thing that I love to do is reading. I thought there’s probably resources that I can read. Back in the day there was …… I love an actual book. We didn’t have a Kindle when this happened and I don’t like them any way but you know there are libraries, there are used bookstores….shoot Goodwill has stacks of books that people have bought and read once or bought and didn’t read at all. I found a book called Wild at Heart by John Ethridge. I read that very intentionally first book I read when this whole thing went to pieces because I really didn’t think about myself so much. I made the lists of what I needed to do and the first thought on top was the kids. Mostly the boys because they are boys, and I am not. I didn’t know what to do with them. I realized I was going to have to be their mother and their father when they’re with me. I didn’t want to ruin them in some way inadvertently. I thought I needed to prepare to raise these boys through puberty no less which is a very hard time even when you have two parents in the household that agree on everything. I got the book and I learned so much.
A side effect of the book was that it really changed the relationship with my father because in the book it talks about men raising men. Good men, what makes them good men? The things they have to go through to become men, or you can stump them and leave them in the state of a little boy for the rest of their life. It talked about how they are doing what they were taught. In that moment I was just struck because I realize that my dad was doing what he had been taught. So being mad about it or questioning it or thinking like I wish it had been different is really futile because you can’t change that.
Nora:
We do have that modeling so this is wonderful that you went to a resource of how to help my boys which is wonderful. That kind of freed your mind to help yourself now to focus on income. Tell us how you got into that.
Amy:
That was funny because at that moment I wasn’t focused on income because as most people know the divorce process is long and painful. At that moment it wasn’t an immediate issue but I had a kid that needed a car and that was an immediate issue so I went around where we live and Maricopa County is a very large county. I started out where I was at the time, which was the far, far edge of Mesa, right by Apache Junction. I started looking for a vehicle and I had to keep going and keep going because I was being horribly. I wasn’t being heard. Nobody was following up and I had never been so frustrated with the process in my entire life. I think because in the military there are systems, methods, chains of command and it is very broken down and clear so it’s not confusing. It is very obvious, and this was something that I didn’t have experience with but because of the situation with my husband I wasn’t going to ask him to help me…. It was like, I’ve got to figure this out, so I did. I just continued looking for a vehicle until I made my way all the way over to the other side of Phoenix with no luck. I sat down at a desk inside a dealership with a gentleman whose name was Chris and he said to me “You would be really good at this”. I said, “excuse me”? I had mentioned to him that I was looking to get into some line of business, and he just blurted that out to me. I found that really curious and I said, “what do you mean,” he said “you’d be so good at this” and I looked at him and I go “I couldn’t’ be any worse than everybody I experienced across this County. Bless their hearts because then I actually went and applied for that job and got that job because of Chris suggesting it. I was determined that I was going to be better, that I was going to be the best. What I’ve learned in my lifetime, much like the little girls and boys that were around me in gymnastics class, what I’m good at is seeing the thing that is not going quite right and then making the correction.
Nora:
That’s a gift to find something that needs change
Amy:
Well, it’s a curse because people say “why do you always see the negative” I don’t mean to see it, it’s just there in front of me.
I should have gone into quality control. I don’t believe in complaining unless you have a suggestion or solution so it’s not like I’m just complaining, I’m observing this and I don’t agree with it and I think there’s a better way and I’m going to find it.
Nora:
That’s a gift and that is what he saw in you. What I like and what I want my listeners to think about is both Amy and I had people that said things like “you would be good at this”. It’s a good idea to ask your friends “what do you think I would be good at?” and listen to what they say. If you have an idea, bounce it off of them and see what they say because often times, at least for the positive, our friends see things in us that we don’t see in ourselves. I just wanted to share that because both of us benefited from that.
Amy:
I’ll add that for people that are listening that are in a situation that they think they’re about to have to change something in their life be it a career, relationship, or whatever and subject matter being Women Starting Over…. If you aren’t surrounded by good friends, if you don’t get out, if you aren’t going to meet ups, or go to the library or church or BNI, if you aren’t putting yourself out there, I would. There are groups out there of people that you can go be with to get out of your house, to get out of your head. You mentioned my volunteering, I do things for other people, and I always did. Besides the FRG which was kind of my job because he was a command team officer and me being his spouse, I didn’t really get a choice in that, but I did rise up to it because I enjoy helping people. I enjoy solving problems so when that soldier deploys and that wife is at home and he’s taken that ATM card, but he’s never told her the pin, I have to figure this out. I like figuring things out, but I also exposed myself to people. If you’re isolated and not getting out and you don’t have people, a support group, you need to work your way out of your home.
Nora
They’re out there….some meet up groups and what you’re saying about being with people it’s crucial. People are what life is all about. Both of us have benefited by being with other people. You’re right, if you’re isolated because you’re scared, you don’t know what to do,
Amy
You’re embarrassed, your got fired, your marriage is falling apart, whatever, it is ok. You’re not alone. That’s why it was important to me when you asked me to sit with you because I wanted to do this because I’ve felt those things and I didn’t want anybody saying “well maybe she had a wealthy family”….Nope, “maybe she …….
Nora:
Because you didn’t even get a degree, right? People can become entrepreneurs without a degree.
Amy:
I’m not telling people not to go to college, but I want people to know they have options. What I did was I worked in that dealership, and I’ve never been so unhappy in my life. I jumped out of the frying pan into the fire, BUT, I like a challenge and I like to be successful and I was successful in what I was doing. I was immersed in it and I’m a fast learner, I’m a good listener, I take notes, I ask questions, so I say that for people that say, “how do you do it”? This is how you do it, you get in it and even if it’s not for you, you’re learning something. Like if you have family members that are negative or you have friends that you’ve known your whole life but they’re not real positive and encouraging, I don’t want to say get rid of them but get more friends that can counteract that and immerse yourself in positivity. I did that and so when you mentioned about me being a Master Graduate and Ambassador of that personal and professional development, I ended up taking a class about communication and so that was a step for me, and I read that book for the boys. It really changed my life because you think you know, you think you’re good, people tell you you’re good and you listen to that and then you go to a class where they keep you for a couple of days and you dive really deep. You’re like…I didn’t even know what I didn’t know. I learned so much then I was able to apply that not just professionally but personally. I continued in those classes to grow and expand and being uncomfortable. I had to be comfortable being uncomfortable.
Nora:
We only grow when we are uncomfortable right?
Amy:
I was very uncomfortable
Nora:
Improving ourselves is going to help us professionally. I always say it’s not always just hard work, inner work is really important, and is what can help move us forward when we know what’s going on in our minds and our hearts. What are our limitations? We need to know what is happening that is stopping us. Once you’re aware of that, that’s the first step to change. What is blocking me.
Amy:
And become limitless. I had people saying things in my ear that I was believing because I was isolated, because I had just moved here from the other side of America, I didn’t know anybody. Being told things like …. “you can’t do it” or “you won’t leave”…… this type of little pecking away at your confidence that you are capable and that you can walk away, you can start over and I did that. What I also did was besides personal and professional self-development, and surround myself with positivity with people who wanted to grow to learn to laugh and have fun. I found it was important for me to go outside and be in the sunshine. If I’m not making Vitamin D, I’m a disaster. I know a lot of people that take medicine, I don’t take any, my medicine is other people, it’s laughter, it’s sunshine. I know that sounds really silly and trite. I lived in Tennessee recently for two years and I just came back. While I was there it was not good for me because it was raining, snowing and sleeting nine months of the year so I was unable to make Vitamin D. You wouldn’t recognize me. I had to get on a plane and come back. I put my feet on the ground, I kissed the ground, I came back with one suitcase, everything I owned in one bag and I said it doesn’t matter because I will have my sanity, I will have my health, I will have my network which are these people here that I know that I built this community. When I was starting to go through this situation with my marriage and so you can do it. I did it and then furthermore what I did was, that list of complaints, I said…one day I had it…I had it and I stood up at the dealership and I went out the door and they couldn’t believe it. It’s all men and me and now they’re calling me from the owner down and they are calling me and they’re like …. calm down! I’ll tell you what, for the ladies listening, what’s the fastest way for us to lose our marbles is to tell us to calm down!
They thought I was playing a joke because some of the men will act like they’re mad and they’re really going golfing or just take a day off and then they come back and you’re like……what did you just do? They thought that I was doing that but that’s not my nature. When I make up my mind, and that’s the thing, sometimes you just have to make up your mind to do a really hard thing but don’t let anyone talk you out of it. I didn’t let anyone talk me into going back to anything that I knew wasn’t good for me. Good for me may not be what’s good for you. You decide what’s good for you but for me it was a positive healthy environment. The house I was working were insanity….70 hours a week in the dealership and then on my app outside of work. It was on my list that I wanted more time control. I wanted more ability to see my children, I wanted to be around to watch my grandchildren grow up and not be at the dealership.
The list that I had made while I was observing for a year, I just said this is the company that I’m going to start. It is going to be the opposite of everything that I’ve been forced to do and it’s going to be the way that I think it should be done. The good news I think, and it’s not to say that if someone else wants to begin a company that you shouldn’t make adjustments or course corrections, it’s just to say that I have not…..I had so thoroughly made the notes of how I was going to do it that I have not changed anything in six and a half years. Not a thing because if you’re really paying attention and you’re really mad and upset about it, the solutions will eventually rise to the surface and that is your focus. Then you can get it into a system and then you can just follow those steps and then you’ll be successful. If you have looked around the world and said, ”that’s a problem,” good for you, now solve it!
Nora:
Exactly because this is what entrepreneurs do. We see a problem. There’s a lack of products in this area or this product needs to be improved or this service needs to be improved or information.
There are four ways to make money: Investments, sell a product, you have a service or you sell information. Those are pretty much the four areas of earning income. I love what you did where it helped to stay where you’re at….sometimes we need to stay where we’re at even though we are in dire straits but to get ready for where we’re going, you never want to go on a journey without preparation. Then in some instances it’s not always good to quit your job because you hate it then look for another one because you’re more employable when you’re still employed looking for another job. Look around you, what can be improved? Maybe you can take that yourself to become your own service business, which is what Amy did, called Auto Amy.
my
I did that and I also love giving. I joined up with a BNI and I was the founding member of the largest BNI in my state. I’m super proud of that because I didn’t even know what BNI was then we attained to reach a level that no one had ever reached before. We launched our chapter with the most people in a chapter in Arizona. So then I had a network around me with people where our motto was givers gain. Now I was surrounded by people that feel similarly to me. It’s not what can you do for me but what can I do for you!
Another book I read was “The way of the Peaceful Warrior”. The final lesson in the book is that you let go of the outcomes. I’s the preparation, it’s the attitude, it’s the mindset, it’s the showing up, then the outcome is irrelevant….it will be what it will be and it’ll be ok because it’s what you get after all the hard work. With Givers gain, and BNI and those personal professional self-development courses I took, I set myself up for success. I don’t want to pretend it was just me because it would be very hard to be a sole entrepreneur and have no help, no encouragement, nobody around you to be your cheerleader because you do have to be your biggest cheerleader.
Nora
Nobody does anything by themselves. It doesn’t matter if you’re the president or anything that you’re doing, you must have a team around you. Your accountant, an attorney, …….
Amy
And that’s why BNI is so amazing because our core group it was the number one people that are those people so you sort of inherit the best people. They’re just there for you. You may not need a lawyer but then something happens like….where’s the best divorce attorney ….oh my goodness, sitting with me in this room……. Then we have a lot of fun like the divorce attorney is still a personal friend of mine. You say his tag line like…..my tag line was, “I take the ordeal out of car deals,” and his was, “you know why divorce is so expensive, because it’s worth it.”
So we have fun! If you show up at a BNI as a visitor which you can do, you don’t have to join one, you should go visit one because you can meet these people and see how it is and see if you like it.
Nora
Networking is key and there are a lot of different ways to network. You mentioned a lot of different groups. Church or meet up or there’s a plethora of groups these days. Even online groups like social media groups ….. Our Facebook group that I’m starting for women that are starting over can connect and talk together.
Amy
Yes, and sometimes you do want to complain or be sad and that’s ok too. I don’t want to pretend like it’s all sunshine and roses. I think that if you have someone to vent to that is the type that will let you and not interrupt you and then say, “ok, what are we going to do about that”? To move you along to solutions
Nora
Process instead of staying on the problem that’s draining or be with naysayers. I remember that I mentioned something that I wanted to do and they started saying, “oh but this and that,” I thought you have to be careful and know who the people are that are going to support you and find the people that you want to become like.
Amy
In that case you must have lines in your head. Sometimes when you’re in sales we call them word tracks. So the line that you say to that person is, “thank you for sharing,” or you say, “that’s great feedback for improvement.” There is going to be that negativity but it’s not that, it’s what you do with it. Maybe that person is giving objections. In life there are going to be objections. In sales there’s objections. I’m not in sales anymore I’m in service but in sales those objections are just opportunities for me to figure out a way for me to help you through your obstacle to find a solution for you.
Nora
What I say to people is we’re all selling something. If you have a boss you’re selling your time, your talents, or you can do that for yourself. We need to look at sales differently in America. We look at sales so negatively…..I’m not a sales person. I was telling a friend of mine the other day who has run into a health product that helps her and she says, “oh I can’t sell this,” and I said, “tell your story.” You’re helping people, you’re not selling. We have to get that negative connotation that America has built in our culture about sales. All of us need salespeople…we need that shoe salesperson and we need that insurance sales person.
What I love about Amy and how much she has mentioned about giving to people…you reap what you sow. It’s a law, what goes around, comes around
Amy
Reciprocity
Nora
If you’re not in a place where you’re helping others, I would encourage you to find a place in a way to volunteer. There’s a lot of need in the world. It will build you up…your confidence and makes life more satisfying. Especially when you’re in a financial hardship place, there are times when you do the volunteering and that might give you that idea that you need. What I want Amy to share before we close here is about the model that she has and what she’s done with her business model. Tell us a little more about your business and how people can contact you.
Amy
The business that I created after leaving the traditional business model was one where people would find me and they find me nationwide. For people who say I don’t have money, I haven’t spent any money. I put myself on Facebook, which was free, I put myself on LinkedIn, which was free. I’m on Pinterest, which is free, I’m on Twitter, which is free, all of those social media places are free. People find me nationwide. They call me and ask me to help them, and I do. What I do is I do the searching for their vehicles, I do the negotiating for them, I make that process seamless and transparent. I conserve their money and more importantly their time and energy because those things are money. At the end they’re very grateful and thankful and they tell all of their friends so that’s how in giving to them, I will gain by referral. For instance, when I lived in Tennessee, I continued to get referrals from people from BNI and I wasn’t even in AZ anymore. I put so much into them that they continue to give back to me and all of these years later now that I’m back I have the opportunity to help people back in TN wherever they’re at.
My favorite way to help people is by giving away my model. The sad part is that it’s an easy model. Most people would sell you their business….you have to buy a business in a box and it’s very expensive. That’s not the case for this business. It’s unfortunate because the auto industry is very much male dominated. They see what I’m doing and they reach out to me…..”I don’t mean to bother you but can you tell me what it is that you do? I walk them through it and I go…you can do it! Wait a minute that’s work! Never mind!
Out there I know that there is women that go into the dealership model like I did and are successful like it was, perhaps they’re not me, perhaps they’d be very happy there. For those women that are listening and want to copy that….she’s giving me something that is free and that is time tested. Six and a half years…… I do actually think with what I do, that I think women could be more successful in this because we do have that empathy, we do have that patience, we do listen, we pay attention to detail. Like last night I was looking for a particular unit and I needed it to be black. I asked for support from across the nation….if anyone lays their eyes on this vehicle, would you let me know? Shoot me a text. The first thing that happened was they were not texting me even though it very clearly said text is best then it said 727-804-8118.
Anyone listening that wants to talk to me about anything, text me! I say that to you and I say that to them, any time you can text me. Text me, I don’t mind. They weren’t listening, they weren’t following instructions, so I very clearly said the vehicle had to be black and they were sending me pictures of red one’s, silver, bright lime green! As a female I believe that you have the propensity to be very successful in any business that requires listening and attention to detail. Honoring this person’s request to do as they want it done ….fast, slow, whatever you give them that they’re telling you what they need
That number again for Auto Amy is 727-804-8118. Any woman that’s out there thinking that I need to start over like I was. You can do something else, there are people that support you, that encourage you, give you the framework, the systems, to be successful and I’m happy to offer that to people.
Nora
I love that about Amy. This has been absolutely wonderful. I love everything you’ve shared. I did not know that you have that rare disease that when you were younger and how the adults said to you, the good positive things, let’s remind ourselves of that. Thank you for sharing your success story here! It’s a realistic success story for anybody that lives anywhere in our nation. You can live in a rural city, you can live in a big city, it doesn’t matter.
Thank you for joining us today
Amy
I am so grateful to have the opportunity to share with people. I’ve had a lot of great opportunities in my life that I picked up on and that I took advantage of them by listening so for the people that are listening today, I hope that someone wants to go ahead and reach out and say “what about me?” and we can say “what about you? How can we help you?”’ It has happened for me, and it can happen for anybody. They just have to put themselves out there.
If Amy can do it, so can you!
